The Judgment of Others

I spoke with a friend at church Sunday who is also unequally yoked, and she brought up an issue I think we all run into at one point or another. As unequally yoked spouses, what can we do to cross the faith barrier to connect with our unbelieving spouses? And in so doing, how do we handle the judgments we sometimes receive from other believers.

We’ve talked in the past about how our actions speak louder than words. Sometimes the actions God call us to can look questionable in the eyes of others. I’ve recently joined my husband in playing an online video game that some would consider the “wrong influence.” Is it my first choice of activities? No, but it’s something my husband enjoys and joining him sends the message that I want to spend time with him, and I’m willing to do it on his terms (without sinning, of course) to show my love and acceptance of him.

I knew going into this that other Christians I know would not approve, but I moved this direction out of obedience. This was something God put on my heart to do. Let me cover some key points here:

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http://www.dezignia.com

Showing Christ

If I could tell my husband one thing today, I would tell him I love him.

If I could speak special words to him today, I would speak of my love for him.

If I could show him who I love most, I would show him Christ.


How do we show Christ? How do we convey with actions what we’d like to say with words? How can we show Christ and not just speak of him?

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Interview with Nancy Kennedy

Lynn Donovan over at Spiritually Unequal Marriage has an AWESOME interview up with Nancy Kennedy, author of When He Doesn't Believe: Help and Encouragement for Women Who Feel Alone in Their Faith. Nancy has some wonderful words of advice and wisdom and some very encouraging news about her dear hubby! You don't want to miss this uplifting and encouraging interview. Blessings!

The Meaning of Love

After looking at John, I’m finding my interest sparked now by Peter. We know Peter denied Christ three times, then in John 21, Jesus asks if Peter loves him three times. I love the symbolism here, and again, God brings more than one purpose to light.

Just as Peter denied Christ three time, Jesus gives Peter the chance to “choose” him three times thereby reaffirming Peter’s place in relationship to God’s kingdom and also to Christ himself.

If we dig a little deeper though into the Greek meaning behind the words, two different words are used for love.

The first time Christ asks Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” he uses agape, which portrays love as volitional (a choice) and self-sacrificing. Peter answers him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” But he uses phileo which means a brotherly type of love with common interests.

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More about John...

The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world! This is the one I meant when I said, 'A man who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.' I myself did not know him, but the reason I came baptizing with water was that he might be revealed to Israel." John 1:29-31 (NIV)

The next day John was there again with two of his disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, "Look, the Lamb of God!"

When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus. Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, "What do you want?"

They said, "Rabbi" (which means Teacher), "where are you staying?"

"Come," he replied, "and you will see."

So they went and saw where he was staying, and spent that day with him. It was about the tenth hour.

Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus. The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, "We have found the Messiah" (that is, the Christ). And he brought him to Jesus.

Jesus looked at him and said, "You are Simon son of John. You will be called Cephas" (which, when translated, is Peter). — John 1:35-42 (NIV)

Several of you let me know that Sunday’s post really challenged you. I think that’s what God had in mind, because like you, it truly challenged me. Yet I find John is still walking around in my head, as if his story still needs to be told. Or perhaps the writer in me is just trying to understand a character not well defined in the Bible.

What struck me from the above verses was how the two disciples following John left him and followed Jesus. One of whom was Peter, the one who Jesus planned to build his church upon. Again the picture shows John’s mission of preparing things for Jesus. He enlisted these two men for the Messiah’s cause and then released them to the Lord he’d faithfully served.

But did he wonder? Did he watch these two men go with Jesus and long to go with them? Did he wonder why he wasn’t destined to be one of the twelve—a confidant and friend to the long awaited One?

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What about John?

They came to John and said to him, "Rabbi, that man who was with you on the other side of the Jordan—the one you testified about—well, he is baptizing, and everyone is going to him."

To this John replied, "A man can receive only what is given him from heaven. You yourselves can testify that I said, 'I am not the Christ but am sent ahead of him.' The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. He must become greater; I must become less." — John 3:26-30

John the Baptist has been on my mind this week. I wonder what he felt when he saw Jesus with the Twelve. Did he wish to be one of those chosen men, constantly in the presence of the Son of God? Did he look longingly at this group, wondering why he'd been set apart? Or did he actually have the better job?

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Contentment

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you notice a common theme? The subject of a devotional, an email that comes over your favorite prayer loop, Sunday’s sermon, this weeks subject at your small group Bible study…

Those are the times I pay close attention, because I know God has something teach or show me. This has happened over the last week and the subject has been about contentment.

Paul touches on this subject very clearly in Philippians 4:11-13:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

At first glance, it’s easy to assign material needs to these verses, and you would be correct. But Paul addresses a deeper level in the latter part of verse 12—“being content in any and every situation.”

On daily basis, we struggle with this issue in our unequally yoked marriages. How do we find contentment in the midst of conflict? How do we reach the point of saying like Paul did, “I am content in my situation?”

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Be Sure

The Bible defines faith as “being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (Heb. 11:1) This verse has always had special meaning for me. I’ve studied the flow of each word, and the nuances of its meaning. I’ve embraced its truth within my spirit where its lies deeply affirmed. And now I’m coming to see a new perspective from this verse I’ve called “friend” for so long.

I’ve always placed substantial weight on the last part, “certain of what we do not see.” Faith isn’t tangible. Perhaps this is the biggest hurdle to the unbeliever, to have faith in something that can’t be proven by science, by men. Faith, in and of itself, isn’t provable either. It just is.

Many of you know of the journey I’m on, that God shared his plan for my husband’s salvation with me almost seven years ago. That time is almost here, possibly within days, yet I’m somewhat astonished to find myself doubting.

Why?

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Time to Pray

He said: "Son of man, this is the place of my throne and the place for the soles of my feet." — Ezekiel 43:7a

Lord, we yearn for You to walk among us. We yearn to see your glory and your greatness. We long to be the garden where You may place the soles of your feet and reside in your throne. Create in each of us the Garden of Eden You intended from the beginning.

Please join us at S.U.M. to continue this prayer.

The Right Place

While reading a devotional yesterday, the writer highlighted Habakkuk 3:19. I hunted down this verse in my own Bible, then proceeded to write it on an index card.

"The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
He enables me to go on the heights."

I don't know about you, but I need this reminder right now. I have a tendency to leave God's strength and start working on my own very limited reservoir. Inevitably, I run out, and right now, I don't need that to happen.

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Letting Go

"But the world must learn that I love the Father and that I do exactly what my Father has commanded me." —the words of Jesus, John 14:31

Let me tell you about a story I heard years ago. I can't remember where, so if the author (or songwriter) is out there somewhere and reads this, please take your credit.

It's about a little girl who constantly carried a set of glass beads. The necklace belonged to her mother who died several years ago. They were worn and tattered, but the little girl never let them out of her sight.

One day, her father pulled her into his lap. A warm fire blazed in the hearth. Each night before bedtime, her father would tell her a story, but this night he looked at the beads she clutched in her hands. "Will you let me have those beads?"

Read the rest of this Weekend Devotion over at S.U.M.

Moments of Glory

The most precious times of our lives can be spent simply around a table, reminiscing the past. My family and I did this last night. We all went out for pizza and dragged my daughter's wonderful boyfriend along with us. I look at her now, around the same age I had started dating my husband, and I praise God that the young man she is dating is a strong man of God. I look at them with eyes of wonder and curiosity. What must it be like to start "in God"?

Such memories we recalled of our years living abroad, when both our girls were young. Tales of mishaps, memories of creeks, bees, and rollerblading. Our time there holds a mix of pain and joy, of struggles that pushed me to edge of my faith and forced me into the arms of God's faithfulness. During this time, the seeds of my girls' faith journeys were planted and have now sprouted and continue to grow. Already I see God working in their lives and using their fledgling faith to further his kingdom.

As I type these words, I realize it's not so much how we start, but how we finish.

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Sacrificial Giving

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I'm wracking my brain about what to give my dear hubby. I'd love to surprise him with something special, something out of the ordinary.

The usuals, like chocolates and a romantic card are always great fallbacks. I like those myself, but could I do something more? Maybe something that would even reflect the love God holds for him?

What could I give sacrificially to show how much I love him? This line of thinking led me down a unique path. Instead of what I can do, maybe I should think about what I shouldn’t do.

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The Battle We Can’t See

If you’re like me, you most likely get pulled in multiple directions on a daily basis. Interruptions abound and your self-identity is as apparent and flittering as the steam on the bathroom mirror. And that’s if you even got a shower that day. You’re a mother, a wife, someone’s assistant-boss-you fill in the blank, the maid, the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker. My job changes according to what time of day it is. Yes, I can see the bobbing heads already. You know exactly what I mean.

So often our lives become more about what’s going wrong than what’s going right. How can it not when we are barraged moment by moment by the same circumstances or new ones compounding the old? By the end of the day, our brains feel like a battlefield and our hearts have the holes to show for it.

How much longer can we continue, we wonder? What would happen if we just stopped? Or maybe you’re standing there having one of those “Christmas Story” daydreams where your family falls weeping at your feet when they realize your current death sentence is due to their lack of help, understanding, and appreciation. (I’m laughing as I type this because I did this very thing as I emptied the dryer last night.)

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A Choice of Faith

Something happened this weekend that rocked my world. The pain of it still runs deep and reminds of the day my sweet husband told me he’d decided he was an atheist. I can only describe it one word.

Grief.

I won’t go into details, except to say a glaring difference of belief placed a wedge between us. In the past, I’ve dealt with our mismatched beliefs by agreeing to disagree. My determination to love my husband unconditionally never wavered, because I knew that’s what God wanted. I gladly obliged. I will say it hasn’t been that hard because one, my husband is very easy to love, and two, I believe God has enabled me to do so.

But the tables turned this weekend.

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Another Revelation of God

Last July I wrote a post called The Revelation of God about a divine appointment God has set up between me and a woman who was unequally yoked for six and a half years. Learning how her husband came to Christ and interviewing him turned into a unique opportunity to how God worked in this process. I had no idea then that God would continue to show me more.

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One Scarred Hand to the Other

Fear.

That’s what God told me to write about this week. To be honest, I don’t really know what to say about it, other than I seem to be battling it more at the moment than I ever have before.

I learned at an early age to be confident, even if I had to fake it. An insecure childhood taught me how to “pretend” this state to the point that I could almost believe it myself. I remember one of my first prayers to God after He’d put me back on my journey of faith was to be authentic. I wanted to be real.

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A Hubby Brag Fest

Let me tell you about my husband. He’s around six foot, salt and pepper hair, wears rectangular, black-rimmed glasses, and has a near genious IQ. (Yes, we are talking Mensa here.)

He’s the kindest, most loving man I have ever met. I’ve always felt cherished in our marriage. He’s a great dad, provider, and all around great guy. He’s affectionate, loves his girls to pieces, enjoys hanging out with his family, and actually saved a binky (a pacifier) from each of our girls as a memento.

He’s generous, quick to give of his resources, and wants only the best for not only us but for his extended family as well. Part of the reason I fell in love with this guy was because of his big and wonderful family.

He’s patient, never loses his temper. In twenty years of marriage, I can honestly say I’ve only seen him get really mad a few times, and even then it’s hard to tell. He’s even-keeled, passionate about his interests, loves his work, and is constantly stretching his mind.

In a nutshell, the guy has it all together. He's not perfect, but he's pretty wonderful.

Why am I telling in you this?

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A Final Word on Thankfulness

I know, I know. You’re most likely tired of the subject by now. Thanksgiving is over. We’ve seen plenty of posts about it, but I want to bring one more dish to the table before it’s cleared.

Thankfulness for our unbelieving spouses.

Sometimes this is incredibly difficult, or nearly impossible, but I do believe it to be vital. Our human nature tells us to do the opposite—to hold a grudge or to even be justifiably judgmental. Especially in situations where we’re criticized or ridiculed for our faith. However, I believe there is a deeper meaning to why we are to give thanks for all things, including our trials.

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What’s God Up to Now?

You’re not going to believe this. Or maybe you will. Saturday evening I heard a still soft voice.

“Invite him to church.”

I paused. Or should I say, I froze. “Huh? Lord, is that you?”

“Invite him to church.”

“But why? He’ll just say no. Or laugh at me.”

“Invite him to church.”

“Well, okay. Whatever you want.” I laughed. Like Sarah when she heard God (appearing as the trinity) tell Abraham that by the time next year she would bear him a son.

Can you still hear me laughing?

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