Sunday, August 14, 2005

Spiritual Wasteland

Ever been there? Well, I'll be honest. I'm residing there at the moment. And let me tell ya, it's a really dry place. I don't like wastelands. Lush greenery is my preference. Lots of running streams, fruit trees, moist earth.

A wasteland is defined as an unused area of land that has become barren or overgrown. So, how does one define that in terms of the spirit. Unused? Barren? Overgrown?

Unused. Am I not serving God as He wants? Are my gifts being used in vain? The struggle of the writer is not knowing how your work has affected others, if at all. There are not immediate results. Not that I write for that reason. I write because I know God has called me to. There is a purpose to this madness.

Barren. Nonproductive. Nothing comes to mind there. I'm writing most days. I'm even close to finishing another book. But it's like squeezing water from a rock. Now I know why Moses hit the rock. Impatience and frustration are not productive.

Overgrown. By what? Weeds? Flowers? The term implies something uncared for. Is that what's wrong with me? I've not taken care of myself spiritually. And how does one do that when the morning quiet time with God is an effort in and of itself.

I know God's there. I'm looking at myself searching for the answers because I know the problem lies within me. Still searching, still waiting, still hoping.

I know God's there. I just wish He'd speak a little louder at the moment.

1 comment:

Camy Tang said...

I'm with you in the wasteland, D. Of course, this comes right as I go full-time writing. Isn't that supposed to automatically fill me with creativity and spiritual awakening? Like unblocking a dam? I guess not, if my blank screen and troubled quiet times are any indication.

I'll pray for you, pray for me. Maybe our two feeble prayers will reach an Infinte God.